©2002 Ginger Hanson



Dogs Speak Out for Some Changes in Enterprise

by

Ginger Hanson


This summer has been very busy for our mommy. She sold two books to Kensington Publishing and has to meet a September 1st deadline. Since she has been so busy she asked me and Toffy to write a column for her. My name is Bandit.

By the way, we're dogs. We own two people, Bob and Ginger. We also have a cat named Scooter. Mommy likes to write about us so some of you have met us in other columns.

Toffy and I decided we’d like to tell you about some doggy ideas we have for Enterprise. We think the Parks and Recreation folks should add a dog park to one of the city parks. There are a lot of dogs in Enterprise who’d enjoy taking their owners to a dog park. Dog parks are fun because dogs can run around without their leash, let the wind flap their ears, and play. We love to run around without our leashes so we know we’d like that very much.

Dog parks aren’t just good for dogs, they’re good for people, too. They give dog owners a reason to get out of the house, visit with other dog owners, and play with their dogs. or watch their dogs play with other dogs. Sometimes people forget that playing is an important part of life. It’s part of our job description to help people remember to play.

While we’re talking about playing, we’d like to recommend that our new dog park have some slides, tunnels, A frames and balance beams in it so we can play on them. Dog owners probably don’t realize that their dogs secretly yearn to be an agility dog champion, but we do. I guess, that’s what happens when dogs watch too many agility dog competitions on Animal Planet.

Since we have your attention, Toffy and I would also like to suggest two new laws for Enterprise. We think Enterprise should have a walk-your-dog-once-a day law and a register-and-microchip-your-dog law.

The walk-your-dog-once-a-day law serves two purposes. First, it would be beneficial to both the dog and the owner’s health. Everybody knows America has an obesity problem. Well, it's not just people who are fat. There are a lot of fat dogs, too. I mean, have you seen some of the roly-poly dogs showing up at the veterinarian’s office? Well, we have. And when their owners leave them the same week we’re staying, we have to put up with their constant whining, because they aren’t getting treats every five minutes.

Anyway, making the dog owner walk his or her dog every day would help keep the dog and the owner physically fit. Plus, the dog would have a chance to read the news and leave messages all over the neighborhood. And it would also give all those lonely dogs locked in pens without any friends a chance to have quality time with their owners. It really makes me and Toffy sad to see doggy friends forced to spend their life behind bars.

Don’t people remember why you domesticated us? You invited us into your world because we’re very social creatures and make great friends. But we need to be around other dogs and people. Being alone all day is really lonely for a dog.

If a dog got to visit with his or her owner everyday during a walk, it would help make the rest of the day less lonely. Plus, medical experts say that petting dogs lowers human blood pressure. We make you feel good.

Aren’t these good reasons to have a walk-your-dog-every-day law?

Before someone says this will be a difficult law to enforce, let us tell you the second purpose of this law. It’s patriotic. Yep, that’s right. Dog walkers could
participate in that new Terrorist Information and Prevention System program President Bush is trying to push through Congress.

Toffy and I figure if everyone is already spying on their neighbors and looking for potential terrorists, it won’t be difficult to notice dog walk violators. Instead of calling the FBI, the citizen could call City Hall.

As for registration and microchipping of dogs, this would be a source of revenue for Enterprise. The law would require every dog to be registered. Of course, the city would charge a fee to register the dog. To get registered, the owner would have to show proof of microchipping. And Toffy and I will swear that microchipping doesn’t hurt very much. Even our cat buddy, Scooter has a microchip in him. And after you’re microchipped, your owners pay a one time fee to have you registered with the AKC Home Companion service.

Even if you lose the tag with your registration number on it, the vet can scan your neck and know where you belong. Or the city could spring for a hand held microchip reader thingy and the animal control officer could scan the stray dog and then take him back to his owners. And if you don’t believe that microchips work, what about the Pomeranian that was lost for six years? He made CNN a few weeks ago when they found out where he belonged because of his microchip.

That’s why we think registration and microchipping is a good idea for Enterprise. Well, it’s really a good idea for the nation.

Think about it. There would be no more stray dogs. Any dog picked up by the dogcatcher would carry internal identification. The system wouldn’t be perfect, but it’d reduce the number of homeless dogs. And think how happy the owners will be to have their dogs returned to them.

Or not, if they threw them away on purpose. Toffy and me were once throw away, but we were lucky. We got really good homes before the dog catcher found us and took us to death row. That’s why we think dog owners should pay to register their dogs. Then money from registration fees would help pay for the stray dogs captured by the dogcatcher. It could be used to give them a a stay of execution until a new home is found for them.
I know people don’t like to think about it, but millions of dogs are killed every year because no one wants them.

There you have it. Our ideas to improve life for dogs in Enterprise. Now all we have to do is convince all the humans.

The End